Sentence Salvation




Stop pulling your hair out about the state of student sentence structure. It can be improved by using a range of simple, yet effective strategies.

Many of the same techniques used to teach fluency in reading can be used in writing. We need to highlight to students the importance and power of fluency. By exposing them to writing samples that flow easily, they will be more able to recognise good sentence structure and apply this skill to their own writing.

By working with students and sharing exemplary literature samples we can highlight such important features as sentence beginnings, sentence length, sentence combining, and run on sentences.

Sentence Beginnings:

Sample Student Writing 1

I have a bike. It is red. I like to ride it. It is fun. My friend and I like to ride in the forest. It is really cool there. We have a good time. When it is time to go home I have to put my bike in the garage. That is where I keep it

*Circle the starting word in each sentence
Notice the following
The sentences lack variety
The structure of the sentences is similar in most sentences
The sentences lack energy or excitement

Sample Student Writing 2
One January morning, Grandma and I looked out the window and saw snow. About ten centimetres of white, fluffy stuff formed a big cloud on the porch. Grandma was the youngest of seven children and always said it wasn’t fair that I had no brothers and sisters to play with. So guess what we did? Dressed in our warmest clothes we put on hats, mittens, boots and went out the back door. We walked around the yard, carefully tiptoeing up the edge of the porch steps. Plopping in the snow in front of the window, we made snow angels. Getting up carefully, we left the same way we came. When Grandpa got home we took him into the living room and had him look out the window. There were two perfect snow angels, one big, and one little. Grandma and me.

*Circle the starting word in each sentence
Sentence beginnings are varied.
The writing possesses energy.
Sentence structure is varied.

Sentence Length
Sentences become boring when they tend to have the same number of words. Using the above student writing samples, have students count the number of words in each sentence. Once the two samples have been surveyed compare the sentence length.

Combining Sentences
Sentence combining involves making one smooth, more detailed sentence out of two or more shorter sentences. Research by Hillocks. G , 1987, Routman, R 1996) found that building complex sentences from simpler ones was shown to be effective in raising the quality of student writing. Now that’s important news!

Short sentences can be combined by deleting unnecessary words, moving words around or using adjectives in a series. They can also be joined using conjunctions ( after, when, since, because, before) and relative pronouns (who, whose, which, that)

If a child writes the following:

I am going to the doctor. Her name is Dr Usher. I am going tomorrow.

Have them combine these sentences into one sentence.

Revision : Tomorrow I have an appointment with my doctor, Dr Usher.

Example 2 Sentence Combining

My dog loves to swim. He loves to run along the shoreline. He loves to fetch the ball.

Revision: My dog loves to run along the shoreline, retrieve the ball, and swim back to shore.

This is what Mark Tredinnick in his book, ‘The Little Red Writing Book’ refers to as the triadic sentence. It links three items of information to make the sentence more memorable and powerful. It provides greater clarify and flow. Three items is the magic number. Four is too many.
Teach triads for fluency!


Example 3 Sentence Combining
My Mum is short. She is blonde. She is pretty.

Revision: My Mum is short, blonde and pretty.

As with all strategies for improving writing, it is important to have students practice until they can perform the task independently. This will enable them to revise their own writing with increased awareness and confidence. Don’t forget the value of having them read aloud from their own writing. It is a proven revision strategy for checking fluency.


References:

Using Literature To Enhance Writing Instruction, Rebecca Olness, International Reading Association, 2005

Moving from Correct Alls To Mentor Texts, Jeff Anderson, Stenhouse, 2005

Mechanically Inclined, Bulding Grammar Usage and Style into the Writer’s Workshop, Stenhouse, 2005

English Grammar – A Functional Approach John Collerson, PETA 1994

The Little Red Writing Book, Mark Tredinnick UNSW Press, 2006

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular With Other Visitors

Learning How to 'Zoom In' When Writing

Image
It is important for young writers to understand that not all parts of a story are equal. There are parts through which a writer moves quickly, and important parts where the writer slows down and lingers a while. This is where the writer might intensify the action or reveal the character’s reactions in greater detail. Young writers need to know that this is a deliberate strategy on the part of the author. The author consciously zooms in. The writer uses a magnifying glass to view a part of the story more closely; to focus on a moment and to slow down time. When an important part of the story is enlarged upon, it   is a signal to the reader, that this part of the story is important. The strategy of ‘zooming in’ goes by many names: ‘exploding a moment’ ‘magnifying a moment’, ‘hotspot’ ‘snapshot’, ‘adding detail’ or ‘slowing the action.’  What ever the name, the idea is the same. The author writes in a way that expands a significant part of the story with the intention of drawing t
Read more

Writing Irresistible LEADS with Grade One Students

I have been reading Australian author, Kate Grenville’s book, ‘The Writing Book – A Practical Guide For Fiction Writers.’ Grenville writes about leads and reminds us that the beginning of a piece of writing needs to be irresistible . Further to this she reminds the reader that it doesn’t matter where you begin a piece of writing- just begin! Grenville quotes Ezra Pound who said, ‘It doesn’t matter which leg of the table you make first as long as it stands up in the end.’ The writer’s aim is to glue the reader to the page. Grenville also makes the observation that sometimes you need to write the whole story before returning to the start in order to write a great beginning or ‘lead’ for it. Recently I have been working with groups of Grade 1 writers alerting them to the various ways in which writers ‘lead’ the reader deeper into their stories. Initially we looked at their own writing samples and I asked students, what did they notice about the words being used in their story leads? Th
Read more

Answering Questions Posed by Young POETS

Image
UPDATED, May 2020 As a frequent visitor to schools I have the great pleasure of working with groups of young, enthusiastic poets and their teachers. When I arrive in a classroom, young poets are often pre-loaded with questions, and most keen to have them answered.  I try to answer as many as I can, but we frequently run out of time, and the poetry caravan moves on to the next classroom. So I am here to answer some of those questions -right here, right now. So here goes: When you were little did you love writing? The short answer is yes. I have always enjoyed words and language. I can't recall a time when I wasn't doing some kind of writing. When did you write your first poetry book? I have had poems published over the years, but it wasn't until 2014 that I had an entire book of poems (an anthology) published. When I looked back through all my notebooks I realized I had hundreds of poems from which to choose. So, 'Searching For Hen's Teeth-Poetry From The
Read more

Writing Opposite Poems

Image
 O pp o s ite  P oem s In his book, ' How To Write Poetry,'  Paul Janeczko presents the idea of opposite poems. Paul suggests they could also be referred to as antonym poems. This is wordplay and it's fun to try. Here are some examples Paul provides to help us see very clearly how these short little poems work. I think the opposite of chair Is sitting down with nothing there What is the opposite of kind? A goat that butts you from behind Paul Janeczko You will  notice the poems are written in rhyming couplets. They can be extended so long as you remember to write in couplets. Paul shows us how this is done. What is the opposite of new? Stale gum that's hard to chew A hot-dog roll as hard as rock Or a soiled and smelly forgotten sock You might notice that some of Paul's opposite Poems begin with a question. The remainder of the poem answer the question posed. Opposite poems are a challenge, but it is a challenge worth trying. Not every thing has a
Read more

Writing About Reading - Reading Reflection Journals:

Image
UPDATED February 2022 Writing in response to literature can be a great way for students to organize their thoughts, explore what they think, and generate ideas. One of the strengths of writing in journals is that it allows students to capture all of those great ideas that generally float off into the air during the discussion.  Journal writing can also become drudgery if students are asked to write too often, given little choice or inspiration in what to write, or if they simply don't have anything to say. While some students eagerly share their impressions about selections they have read in class discussions, others are less comfortable and keep their thoughts to themselves. In an effort to encourage all students to think more about what they read and confidently share their observations and opinions, some teachers are turning to the reading reflection journal and are gaining insights they never anticipated.  The Value of Reflection Journals   Journals assist teachers to gain i
Read more